friends talking abt him to me these days, since they having no idea we have broke up. but it's a reminder to made me felt into the memory abt him again, it;s hard, the longest relationship and the man love me most i had, but now it's finished, i had noth left.
i met a crazy woman in the pub last nite, we had argue since she tried to not pay for the bill, i get the manager on duty and turned around, she started to yelling at me: "she doesn't have personality, she is so rude, she is yelling to me. "
i just can't believe since last time another crazy bitch yelling at me not even 4days, here we came again and met another one. i should grab the security at that time, but i didn't, i leave her got the chance to insult me. i'm also hard to believe it, for $8 dollar, ppl had plans and organized to run away from the bill they actually had. it brought me down, but it's that worst since i had such experience in the worked environment. I was so angry for what she did to me, but i didn't show my strength, instead, i'm tear again Britt and Tim came to me and tried to comfort:" it's ok, it's ok, oh my little puppy, dun cry. ppl called me bitch all the time, dun let it take into you, your so so good, we all known it. Ringo had been hit by the scooner on his head from the stupid customer as well, Jack fight with two drunk ppl last week, it's ok, pls, honey. "
to be honest, it's not that worst to me, but since i got day off today , i just wanna have a drink before i go home. just not really wanna stay alone at the moment. coinsidenly met Ross on the way i home, hahaha!! long time no see, but then he asked how's Kim, i felt terrible sad:"he is doing well, we're ok." mayb i just suck at explain how the story goes and tired to review our relationship, so i choosen telling Ross we doing all right. I asked him if he's not in hurry, we going for a drink, (but myself was exhust due to long day working, but again, dun wanna stay alone), he shout me drink in three monkeys, watching ppl dancing and singing in the pool, we had interacted and i moving my body on the chair when i drinking. he didn't ask me anyth, but he seem knew someth happened to me, he went and grab more drink, he knew what i wanted, after few glasses, i'm bit drunk, "you feel beta now? edie?" i turned around and bit superised he could told what's wrong with me."i'm fine, thanks Ross, i'm ok." after conversation i knew that he gotta work the coming day, i asked him go home, but he stay till i was going home.
"you can go, i can take a ride myself. dun worry, i do it all the time, i'm ok. you go home now pls, thank you again Ross, for ur drink ,and ur time."
"dun worry, i'm not in hurry, i stay with you till ur bus come."
"but it takes 20mins for waiting, serious,i'm ok, pls, go home. your home just right front of you.go,go home."
"i take u home, you're drunk edie."
"you sure?"
"sure, i walk hom with you."
"thank you, i'm glad you didn't leave me alone."
"it's ok."
... we're now in front of my house, he signing me till i got into the building and turned away. i'm lucky, lucky to have someone when the night i was depress.
at nite, i talked to Paul:"i wanna give him a msg or call someth.I missing him, i wanna know he is doing well."
"i know you want to, but pls dun. it won't make you feel beta, especially if he is unwelcoming, pls be strong for a bit longer, oneday, he'll call you, i know that."
"you promise he will call me back oneday? just like a friend. he is good kid i know that,what he said before just in shitty mood, he doesn't want to hurt me."
"Oneday, he'll be struck by nostalgia too and he'll feel lonely for yijing.and he'll get there faster if i feel that you've somehow forgotten him. but each time you call him, you stroke his ego, so he doesn't need to contact you."
"but as the person i known, he will never never call me back again. mayb one day i'm lucky to meet him on the st, he will feel free to talk to me like a close friend, but he won't call me back again, i know him."
"well whatever happened, "friend" won't happen for a while, rmb..it's not that long ago you were telling me that despite not seeing each other very much, your relationship was very strong, sometimes love blind us to the facts. honey, be patien, go to do someth else."
"mayb you're right, i'd beta go to bed rather leave the miss and memory all night long."
